During a time as confusing as puberty, being curious about sex is only natural. Bodies are changing, hormones are going out of control and teenagers want to figure out just what the heck it’s all about. While this is nothing to be concerned about as a parent, you should be mindful if you sense that your teenager is spending too much time watching adult videos.
Porn addiction in teenagers is a real thing, but there are strategies for parents looking to address this sensitive topic.
Stay calm
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You might feel panicked when you first think that your teen has a porn addiction. If you’re anxious or stressed coming into this conversation, chances are your teenager will be too.
Before having any sort of talk related to this issue, take a moment to calm yourself. Try to remember what it was like when you were a teenager; putting yourself in your child’s shoes will help you understand the situation and discuss it with a more level head.
Destigmatize the issue
As awkward as you might feel bringing up this topic, don’t make sex a taboo. If your teenager feels ashamed of their urges, it’s more likely that they’ll keep their behavior a secret. Instead, talk to them about how relationships and sex are a natural part of growing up — at the appropriate time, of course.
Remind them that masturbation is normal, but intercourse is an important activity between two people who love and respect each other, which is different from how it’s often portrayed in pornography.
Many teenagers will feel uncomfortable discussing sex with their parents. As soon as the birds and the bees are brought up, they shut down or feel embarrassed, making a productive conversation next to impossible.
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Don’t have “the talk” — have many talks
Instead of sitting them down for “the talk”, discuss things to do with sex and relationships as they come up in regular conversation. If you’re watching a TV show in which the characters encounter these issues, use this as a springboard for a sensitive discussion.
Leave room for mistakes
If you’ve identified a porn addiction in your teen and decide that it needs to be addressed, try to help your teen tackle it incrementally. Setting strict internet boundaries or getting mad when your teenager regresses won’t solve the problem. Instead, realize that a porn addiction, like any other, will require time and support if it’s to be overcome.
Sexuality is a natural part of adolescence, but viewing pornography in an addictive fashion can have potentially detrimental effects on children. If you’re concerned that your child may be experiencing this sort of addiction and aren’t sure what to do, remember that resources and experts are always available to help you. You don’t have to go it alone.
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